CRAFTConnect:
Family Support Program
Become a crucial collaborator in your loved one’s recovery from addiction and/or mental health disorders.
EAST - Family Support Group Starts Monday January 27, 6:00 - 7:30 pm (ET)
WEST - Family Support Group Starts Thursday January 30, 6:00 - 7:30 pm (MT)
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ITC Group Meetings Tuesday, 12:00 to 1:00 pm (MT)
What People Are Saying
Most important things I learned from my CRAFT Connect study
“New PIUS (positive I-statement) communication skills to interact differently with my loved one.”
“I am not alone. It is “therapeutic” to be in a support group.”
“Self-care and self-compassion.”
“I Didn’t CAUSE, can’t CONTROL, and can’t CURE my loved one’s addiction.”
How the relationship with my loved one improved
“My expectations have changed due to the knowledge I have gained.”
“Our communication is calm and very open. I feel confident holding a conversation safely, without major blow ups.”
“I am able to “self-regulate” and respond. I think about my words and actions instead of just reacting.”
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Item description
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Session 1: A Fresh Start
It's important to understand that you are not to blame for your loved one's difficult behaviors. You didn't cause their problems, but you can help them on their journey to feeling better. Focus on taking care of yourself and supporting them in a positive way.Session 2: Anger Management
Sometimes, people use anger to control others, hiding deeper feelings. You can choose how to respond to anger. Learning to calm down is key. By understanding what makes you angry, you can handle it better, which helps your relationships and makes you feel better emotionally.Session 3: Effective Communication
If yelling or nagging hasn't changed your loved one's behavior, try a new way to talk. Good communication can help your relationships. Learn to use "I" statements to share your feelings without being harsh. This helps create understanding and closeness.Session 4: Healthy Thinking
Thinking negatively can lead to bad feelings and low self-esteem. When you spot these unhelpful thoughts, you can challenge them. Ask yourself challenge questions to change your thinking and promote a more positive outlook and stronger emotional health.Session 5: Enrich Your Own Life
Helping a loved one can be tiring. Make sure to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself too. Finding joy outside of their struggles is important. Stay connected with others and focus on your well-being to stay strong and support them better.Session 6: All Behavior is Caused
Your loved one's behaviors come from different challenges. Mapping out these behaviors can help you know how to support them. Understanding why they act a certain way can help you find better alternatives, focusing on the reasons behind the actions instead of just the actions themselves.Session 7: How to Increase Wanted Behaviors
To help your loved one show more positive behaviors, use small rewards that can lead to bigger changes. Rewards can motivate good behavior without encouraging bad actions. Celebrate even small victories to boost their motivation and help them build healthy habits.Session 8: Consequences & Reinforcers
Sometimes, helping too much can prevent your loved one from growing. Allowing natural consequences to occur is important for learning. By not giving rewards all the time, you let them see how their actions affect them, helping them become more responsible.Session 9: Validate, Don’t Try to Fix
Ignoring your loved one’s feelings can hurt your relationship. Practice really listening and validating their emotions. Acknowledge what they feel without needing to agree. This builds trust and helps keep the lines of communication open.Session 10: Domestic Violence/Abuse Precautions
Abuse is never okay. Make your safety the top priority by learning how to handle potentially dangerous situations. Recognize signs of abusive behavior and prepare ways to deal with them, ensuring that you have healthy and safe relationships.Session 11: Plan to Change
Feeling frustrated with slow progress? Make small, planned changes for both you and your loved one. Change takes time; breaking big issues into smaller steps can help. Focus on specific problems and set realistic goals to encourage positive changes in behavior and relationships.Session 12: Prepare for Setbacks
Recovery is full of ups and downs. It's important to stay strong through setbacks. You and your loved one can encourage each other to keep going and remember that overcoming challenges helps you grow. Keeping a positive attitude is essential for both of you to find hope and change.Session 13: Spirituality
You can connect to something bigger than yourself which that gives life meaning. It helps us recognize our inner strengths and our connection to others. Building a spiritual practice can bring balance and help both you and your loved one handle life's challenges with strength.Session 14: Invite Your Loved One to Engage in Treatment
If your loved one is hesitant about getting help, be ready for moments when they're open to it. Look for chances to invite them to treatment when they seem receptive. Create a welcoming atmosphere that encourages them to seek support and grow.Session 15: Supporting Treatment
Your role in your loved one’s treatment should focus on what they need, not what you want. Work together to address their treatment goals with care and understanding. Appreciating their unique needs helps build a stronger relationship and makes treatment more effective.Session 16: Aftercare Planning
It is important that your loved one to keep improving after treatment. Detailed planning provides a guide for the future, especially during the first year when risks are high. Good aftercare helps them gradually replace unwanted behaviors with healthier choices.
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If you love someone who is misusing substances, it is likely that you want to help, and that you want things to change. You may have been told to detach, use “tough love,” or work on your “codependency.” The Invitation to Change Approach® (ITC) challenges stigmatizing, ineffective messages about substance use.
The reality is you can be a part of your loved one’s life, and you can have a positive impact. You can motivate them in a way that will help them change. We share evidence-based skills to help you find a way to support your loved one that feels right and because we know this is a difficult journey, we encourage self-compassion and self-care.
Created by our friends at the Center for Motivation and Change (CMC): Foundation for Change, each weekly session will introduce you to a key ITC topic—like Behaviors Make Sense, Increasing Positive Behaviors, and One Size Does Not Fit All—and then help you practice with special activities.
The Invitation to Change is a 10 session ongoing course that you can begin at anytime. Please purchase the Short Guide or the Beyond Addiction Workbook for Family and Friends (either the paperback or ebook) online at https://cmcffc.org/resources/books-and-workbooks since we will use it in our weekly meetings.
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Session 1: Behaviors Make Sense
Hit the pause button, stepping away.
Session 2: One Size Does Not Fit All
Conversation traps, aversive strategies.
Session 3: Ambivalence is Normal
Watch the lights.
Session 4: Self-Awareness
The information sandwich.
Session 5: Willingness
LOVE.
Session 6: Self-Compassion
SURF.
Session 7: Good Communication
OARS.
Session 8: Behavior Tools
Setting limits, natural consequences.
Session 9: Your Behavior Shapes Their
Increasing positive behaviors.
Session 10: Practice, Practice, Practice
Putting it all together.
Sample Family Support Session
This is an excerpt from Session 3. Effective Communication.
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1. Be brief. Resist the urge to bring up too much. Keep it simple.
2. Be specific and clear. Focus on one thing.
3. Be positive while communicating what you want. Avoid blaming, name calling and over generalization.
4. Label your feelings. Describe the emotional impact on you in a calm, non-judgmental, non-accusatory way.
5. Offer an understanding statement. Try seeing it from the other person’s point of view.
6. Accept partial responsibility. Share a small piece of the problem.
7. Offer to help.
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What do you notice about the principles of PIUS communication that might be different from how you have been communicating?
Negative “You” vs. PIUS statements.
As we read through the following examples of negative “You” and positive “I” (PIUS) statements think about the different messages they deliver.
Negative “You”: You always get drunk and embarrass me.
PIUS: I enjoy being with you when you don’t drink. I know it’s not always easy for you, so that makes it really special.
Negative “You”: You never listen to me when I’m talking to you.
PIUS: I understand that some of our conversations are upsetting, I’d love it if you could help me work them out.
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Step 1. Write down a verbal/text or email interaction between you and your loved.
Step 2. Using the seven principles of PIUS communication re-write what you might say the next time the same situation occurs to limit defensiveness and not lead to an argument.
I... (HOW DO YOU FEEL?)
when you...(DESCRIBE THE BEHAVIOR OR CONDITION)
because... (WHY DO YOU FEEL THIS WAY?)
I would like... (WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAPPEN?)
I know... (YOU UNDERSTAND THE OTHER’S POSITION)
How can I help... (YOUR WILLINGNESS TO SHARE RESPONSIBILITY)
Step 3. Share your ”before and after” statements with the group.
Positive Communication with I Statements.
