Special Needs: When Normal is the Best Case Scenario

Scene: Lydia’s Apartment

Description: The camera pans around a one-bedroom apartment, then comes to settle on the bathroom. Everything is mildly messy; there’s sticky notes all over the place reminding LYDIA to do basic things like clean, laundry, pay bills, take meds. The camera holds when Lydia is in front of the bathroom mirror getting ready. The sticky notes on the mirror read things like, “Keep small talk simple,” “Keep it light, keep it brief,” “EYE CONTACT,” “BODY LANGUAGE,” “TONE OF VOICE,” “SMILE.” Once she has applied the last of her makeup, LYDIA faces the mirror and practices her social skills. She addresses her reflection as if she is addressing a person, but forgets to use eye contact.

LYDIA

“Hi, I’m Lydia. Nice to meet you. Where are you from? What do you do?”

LYDIA catches herself not making eye contact. She tries alters her stance and looks directly into her eyes in the mirror.

LYDIA

“Nice to meet you? Where are you from? The weather’s been nice, hasn’t it?”

LYDIA’s practicing her social skills is interrupted by a text from MCKAYLA, reading, “We’re here.”

Scene: Car ride

Scene opens with LYDIA walking out of apartment building. MCKAYLA’s car is parked directly next to curb. She opens the back passenger door and climbs in. LYDIA sits in the back with friend 2, MCKAYLA is in the front with FRIEND 1.

LYDIA

“Hey.”

MCKAYLA

“Hey! Sorry I’m late. Traffic is a bitch during Valentine’s Day.”

LYDIA

“Good thing it’s not too far.”

MCKAYLA

“I know, right?”

beat.

LYDIA reaches into her bag and pulls out a pair of concert ear plugs. MCKAYLA sees them and acts perplexed.

MCKAYLA

“What are those things?”

LYDIA

“They’re concert plugs. They’re for my sensory-”

MCKAYLA

“Is this one of those autism things?”

Beat.

MCKAYLA

“We’ve talked about this. You can’t connect with other people if you can’t behave normally.”

LYDIA

“I’m supposed to lie about being autistic?”

Beat.

MCKAYLA

“No, you just be your best self.”

Beat.

LYDIA

“But I’m autistic.”

MCKAYLA

“You’re not your autism, Lydia. You don’t even act autistic.”

Beat.

LYDIA rolls her eyes and gives MCKAYLA a withering look. MCKAYLA is casually sipping iced coffee.

MCKAYLA

“Speed dating is about lighthearted, carefree fun. We don’t talk to people for very long, so we need to play up our best traits to keep them interested.”

LYDIA

“It seems… fake. I have a hard time connecting with people who aren’t genuine.”

MCKAYLA

“People find other ways to connect. There’s small talk.”

LYDIA

“But small talk is fake. I’m not allowed to talk about things that are important or interesting.”

MCKAYLA

“Of course you are.”

LYDIA

“We’re socially obligated to ask each other how we’re doing. If I take it literally and tell them how I’m actually doing, I look like a weirdo.”

MCKAYLA

“God, like, you are overthinking this. Just follow your instincts and relax.”

Scene: Parking lot

Their call pulls up to the parking lot of the bar. As they get out, LYDIA looks up, offscreen. A billboard looms over them with a smiling child on it, the words saying, “Autism is my super power!” MCKAYLA playfully nudges LYDIA. LYDIA scowls at the billboard, then at MCKAYLA.

MCKAYLA

 “See? It’s a sign.”
LYDIA
“Yeah, it’s for a charity.”

Beat. MCKAYLA raises her eyebrow at LYDIA while sipping through a straw.

MCKAYLA

“I meant figuratively speaking.”

LYDIA

“Oh.”

Beat. LYDIA starts moving away from the car and toward the bar.

LYDIA

“I thought superpowers make life easier?”

Beat. LYDIA catches sight of a nearby back rack. A vintage highwheel bike, sitting among various street bikes, catches her eye. She motions for MCKAYLA to look at it. MCKAYLA chugs the last of her coffee and laughs at it.

LYDIA

“I could see you riding bitch on that thing.”

MCKAYLA

“Hell no. There’s video game logos on it. They’re probably your type.”

Scene: Bar

The scene cuts to the DOORMAN, who is addressing LYDIA and MCKAYLA.

DOORMAN

“Hey guys, we have a special here for Valentine’s Day: free speed dating with the purchase of a drink!”

MCKAYLA

“Awesome!”

When MCKAYLA looks over to LYDIA, LYDIA forces a smile. LYDIA then hands her license to the doorman. While he scans the IDs. MCKAYLA takes LYDIA by the arm and leads her through the entrance and towards the interior of the pub. It’s a crowded space; near the entrance is a table with gaudy Valentine’s Day decorations and carnations; a handwritten poster hanging from the front reads, “Speed dating here!”; behind the table is the enthusiastic EMPLOYEE in an apron and kitschy holiday garb.

EMPLOYEE

“Sign up for speed dating here! Make sure to get your nametags!”

LYDIA fills out her name on the sheet, then grabs a nametag. She uses one of the sharpies on the table to write her name. As MCKAYLA does the same, LYDIA looks around the crowded pub. She looks nervous. Once LYDIA and MCKAYLA put on their nametags, they walk over to the bar. LYDIA grabs a menu. MCKAYLA waves down the BARTENDER and hands over her card.

MCKAYLA

“I’d like a tab. And a bottle of Polygamy Porter, please.”

BARTENDER

“Sure thing.”

BARTENDER runs over to the register. MCKAYLA turns to LYDIA.

MCKAYLA

“What’re you having?”

LYDIA

 “I haven’t had dinner. The quesadillas sound really good.”

MCKAYLA makes a face.

MCKAYLA

“You can’t walk around with a basket of quesadillas. No one comes to a pub for food.”

LYDIA flips over the menu and looks at the back.

LYDIA

“…the Bacardi and pineapple juice drink sounds good.”

MCKAYLA’s beer bottle arrives. Once she grabs it, she heads offscreen. BARTENDER looks expectantly at LYDIA. LYDIA gives him her order.

LYDIA

“The Fruit Bat, hold the cranberries.”

Scene: Speed dating

In order to establish how Lydia’s autism symptoms affect her, the shots from her perspective will be different than those showing the perspective of non-autistic people. Her POV will be master shots. During her perspective shots, the camera cuts every now and then to different sources of noise from around the pub: the clinking of glasses; the banter from patrons and pub staff; the fluorescent lights emitting a sharp buzzing noise; the speakers emitting music and a light humming noise; and shots of shoes and furniture legs scraping against the floor. The activity in the room itself is not out of the ordinary, but the inconsequential details that most people are able to filter out are amplified to the point of distraction.

Scene opens to LYDIA sitting at a table. A drink is in front of her. MCKAYLA is two tables away; she gives LYDIA a wink while sipping her beer.

Cut to HOSTESS. HOSTESS wears a pair of wings, wreath flowers on her head; she holds a bell in one hand and a microphone in the other. She stands where all the patrons can see her.

HOSTESS

“Welcome, ladies, gents, and drinkers, and happy Valentine’s Day!”

Pub goers in varying degrees of inebriation cheer and holler back.

HOSTESS

“Let’s get to it: each date is 5 minutes. When you hear this bell,”

HOSTESS shakes the bell in demonstration,

HOSTESS

“That means it’s time to find a new partner. Good luck and don’t forget to tip your server!”

Camera cuts to a succession of interactions LYDIA and MCKAYLA have with other bargoers. MCKAYLA appears eager, at ease, and in her element; LYDIA, although superficially friendly, is clearly uncomfortable. LYDIA’s first date is NEGS, a man in dark, flamboyant clothing and a tall, furry; he speaks with a dramatic flourish. MCKAYLA is seated with DAN, a large, muscular man with in an oversized Tapout t-shirt and backwards baseball cap.

LYDIA

“That is a great outfit.”

NEGS

“Oh, have I tickled your fancy?”

LYDIA laughs, assuming he’s joking.

LYDIA

“That’s great! I wish I’d worn a costume. I love the irony in not taking all this so seriously.”

NEGS

“Oh, but m’lday, the game of love is a most serious business.”

LYDIA is perplexed.

LYDIA

“Wait, what?”

NEGS

“I am no common man. I need intellectual stimulation. I am looking for a companion that is capable of engaging in more than idle small talk. May I ask-”

NEGS proceeds to enunciate his words slowly and dramatically, spacing each word apart.

NEGS

“What. Is. Your. Sign?”

LYDIA has a look of dawning horror on her face.

LYDIA

“I don’t know.”

NEGS

“Come again?”

LYDIA

“I don’t practice astrology. I don’t know my sign.”

NEGS drops his act, looking put out. He holds up a finger, indicating that LYDIA wait for a response; he pulls out his phone then asks in a quiet, far less theatrical voice,

NEGS

“Okay, what’s your date of birth?”

LYDIA

“October seventh.”

NEGS looks at his phone. His lips move as he reads the information. NEGS then hastily places the phone back in his pocket, clears his throat, and re-adopts his dramatic act.

NEGS

“Libra, ruled by the planet Venus,”

His next words come out as a growl.

NEGS

“Ooh, daddy like a Libra.”

LYDIA looks sickened but, after a brief moment, forces herself to politely nod and force small talk.

LYDIA

“Right. Cool. Um… I saw a small dog today. The owner said it was called a pom-ski. Super cute and-”

LYDIA looks off-camera at MCKAYLA’s table. Her disappointment with NEGS changes to a look of concern at DAN’s boisterous behavior.

Cut to MCKAYLA’s table: DAN is laughing uncontrollably and MCKAYLA looks panicked and uncomfortable.

DAN

“-you know, like, I’m totally not a racist. My ex is Asian, but-”

MCKAYLA’s phone goes off. She pulls it out and looks at the message from LYDIA, which says, “Need help bailing?” DAN sees her pulling the phone out and abruptly becomes angry.

DAN

“This is a great conversation. Why are you being rude?”

MCKAYLA

“My friend is here, too. She’s autistic. I think I need to go check in on her.”

DAN’S attitude abruptly changes to that of sympathy.

DAN

“Oh, that’s nice of you to help her out. Don’t mind me if your friend needs help.”

Cut to LYDIA’S table. The bell rings and NEGS gets up. MCKAYLA walks towards LYDIA’s table and makes to sit down in the newly vacant seat. Camera cuts to DAN approaching their table. MCKAYLA freezes and puts the chair back.

MCKAYLA

“I’ll be right back, gotta go to the bathroom.”

MCKAYLA runs off camera. DAN sits down across from LYDIA, who is apprehensive. DAN comes across as overly friendly and speaks slowly to her as if he thinks she won’t be able to understand him.

DAN

“You are so, so brave. You must have the good kind of autism and be super-duper smart, huh?”

LYDIA stares at him in dumb shock.

DAN

“I never would have guessed there’s something wrong with you.”

DAN waits as if he expects a thank-you. LYDIA’s face changes to that of rage. DAN continues as if gently instructing a small child.

DAN

“Did you forget how manners work? See, I said a nice thing about you, so-”

LYDIA tosses her drink in his face. DAN yelps and stands up, wiping it from his eyes. HOSTESS sees the altercation from across the room; as LYDIA walks offscreen, she abruptly drops her chipper demeanor and runs up to DAN, angrily shouting.

SCENE/Parking Lot

Cut to outside entrance of pub, the door of which is slammed as LYDIA runs out of it. Master shot showing panicked LYDIA making a beeline for the parking lot, which is free of any people, except for JIM. She finds a curbside spot and sits down. LYDIA is hyperventilating, which slowly devolves into her crying; she hunches her face over her knees and places both shaking hands on her forehead, rocking back and forth. JIM- a young man in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket, and sneakers- looks up from his phone and sees LYDIA in distress. JIM initially tries talking to her, not realizing that she doesn’t sense him nearby.

JIM

“Hey, are you okay?”

LYDIA is unresponsive and continues rocking and crying. JIM becomes increasingly concerned.

JIM

“Are you all right?”

LYDIA continues rocking. JIM kneels sits next to her and lightly touches her shoulder. LYDIA becomes startled and reels back, effectively stopping her rocking. JIM is startled and leans away, putting his hands up defensively.

JIM

“Sorry, I just thought you needed help.”

Beat as they are both quiet for a moment. LYDIA wipes her eyes with her hands. She crosses her arms and tries to make herself look small.

LYDIA

“I’m sorry.”

Beat.

LYDIA

“One of the guys in there was a jerk. Combined with the noise, it just got overwhelming.”

JIM

“What’d he do?”

LYDIA

“He… my friend told him about my autism. He wasn’t nice about it.”

JIM

“That’s not cool, sharing your secret.”

LYDIA

“It’s only a secret because everyone assumes it’s a bad thing.”

Beat.

JIM

“Yeah. I guess it’s hard like that. People assuming you’re a stereotype.”

Beat. Master shot of them under the billboard.

JIM

“I guess it’s expected when you’re a superhero, though.”

Beat. LYDIA tries to suppress a grin.

LYDIA

“I hate that billboard.”

JIM

“Makes sense. Batman would be pissed if a billboard advertised that he’s Bruce Wayne.”

Beat. NEGS walks out of the bar, holding an opulently decorated vape. He walks over to a bike rack and retrieves the high-wheeler bike. As he clumsily mounts it, he catches them staring. He gives LYDIA a wink and a nod.

NEGS

“M’lady, you have my Snap.”

EXIT NEGS. JIM raises his phone to snap a photo. LYDIA stares in disbelief.

LYDIA

“I’m actually Spiderman.”

JIM

“Oh?”

LYDIA

“My spidey senses told me he was a dork.”

Beat. Mood changes as they start easing up around each other.

JIM

“Not your type?”

Lydia responds in a deadpan tone.

LYDIA

“What woman doesn’t love a man that has the style and sex appeal of a zebrafish?”

JIM grins.

JIM

“I knew I should have consulted National Geographic before choosing this outfit.”

LYDIA

“What chance could you possibly stand? You’re only witty and handsome.”

JIM smiles sheepishly.

JIM

“I’m not sure, but knowing each other’s names might help.”

Beat. JIM extends his hand.

JIM
“I’m Jim.”

LYDIA

“Lydia.”

JIM

“I have a poor sense of fashion, but I’ve been told I’m good company.”

LYDIA

“Is that so?”

JIM

“Wanna grab Mexican food and find out?”

JIM holds up his cell phone, then points to a restaurant that’s visible from the parking lot.

JIM

“I haven’t confirmed my order yet.”

LYDIA looks confused, as if unable to understand what he’s implying. When she doesn’t immediately respond, he gets nervous. JIM changes his manner of speaking, using a mock-advertiser’s voice.

JIM

“Act now and you can be the lucky winner of a free plate of quesadillas!”

LYDIA suddenly understands he’s trying to ask her out. She excitedly responds.

LYDIA

“YEAH! Can you text me the menu? I wanna see their sides before I order.”

LYDIA receives a text from MCKAYLA asking, “Are you okay?”

Cut to MCKAYLA looking bored, gazing out the window at LYDIA and JIM. MCKAYLA’s phone goes off as she receives a reply saying, “I found someone normal. We’re going to get Mexican food.”

End scene, cue credits.